If...,then...

I thought I should share with you some of the wise lessons I have learned as a mother.

If you feed your baby multiple times during the night, then he will be chunky and grow up to be the starting Center at Alabama, like God intended him to be.  After all, everybody knows the physic you have at 5 months will remain for the rest of your life.

If you put your daughter's dress on before you put her underwear on, then the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" might be applicable when her Sunday School teacher confronts you about the lack of...

If you won't sit quietly with Mommy and Daddy in Sunday School, then your Mama might hit her limit and put you in the nursery for the first time.  Luckily you are adorable and the teachers held you the entire time.

If you put your kids in front of the tv watching "their news," then you will become invisible.

If your daughter is an Alabama fan at age 3, then she will grow up to be the most well-rounded, intelligent, joyful little lady.  Roll Tide!